Forgiving should be everyone’s ultimate goal. I often hear people talk about forgiveness and how they are so sure they have forgiven people, and the reality is that most of the time they haven’t. Our mind could be very tricky and make us believe our own lies.
The other day I was talking to someone very close to me and I remember telling this person that she would know when she has forgiven, the minute she is not hurting anymore; the minute she doesn’t really care about what happened or doesn’t even think about that person and/or the problem associated to it.
On the other hand, if you are still thinking about that person and what happened between the both of you, and you feel hurt, betrayed, offended, etc. then unfortunately you have not forgiven.
While we all know it is not right to hold grudges against others, it is okay to admit to yourself that you are still feeling those negatives thoughts and emotions, because this is the only way you could forgive and free yourself from all those resentments, plus we all know that forgiving is not an easy task.
Do not try to convince yourself otherwise, because all you are doing is letting all of those negatives feelings sit there, and eventually they will arise again. Instead, just face them and work on getting rid of them by replacing them with good thoughts and feelings.
A good way to work against these negatives feelings is by making decrees. You can say things like “(Person’s name) I Surround You With My Love” or “(person’s name) I love you and I Forgive You”.
Another good tip is to stop thinking and talking about the past. If you still think and talk about all the bad things this person did to you, then you have not let go yet. Don’t give me the excuse of the saying that goes “I forgive, but I never forget”, because those who believe in that will never truly forgive.
I am not telling you forgiving is easy…it takes time and effort, but you must forgive in order to be free of your own negative thoughts and feelings, otherwise you are just condemning yourself to be miserable your entire life. So at least start by accepting you haven’t forgiven instead of trying to convince yourself and others that you have.